Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
