so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
