morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
