Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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