What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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