smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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