i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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