yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
