No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
