drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
