Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
