the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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