I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
