Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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