I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
