Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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