He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
