I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
