belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
