he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
