I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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