Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
