just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
