Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All the doctor said was why
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
is it fun? or sober?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
