People with herpes should wear stickers.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
