Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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