I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
