if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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