so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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