paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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