ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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