we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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