the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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