I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
