he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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