AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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