I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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