six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
We smell like vodka and hangover
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