last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I want her autograph on my taint
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I will pee on everything he values.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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