I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The adults are the big ones right?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
