carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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