When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Houston, we have a blender
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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