please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So here I am, sexting at work.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
