i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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