She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
