she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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