I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
