i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
