your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
