don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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