I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i drank out of a bidet.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
