she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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