If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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